Bringing Up Race with Uju Asika

Today we have the privilege of bringing you a really talented and inspirational woman..

Meet Uju Asika

Not only is she a multi-award nominated blogger, screenwriter, creative consultant, and mother; she is also the author of an incredibly powerful book Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World, published in 2020 which was featured in Good Housekeeping, Marie Claire, Good Morning Sunday, and Woman’s Hour to name a few. The Evening Standard named Bringing Up Race one of the Best Books of September 2020 calling it ‘timely and important’. A former arts journalist, Uju is the founder of the blog Babes About Town blog, which focuses on city life, advice, ideas, and travel for families, and a past writer/script editor for some of Africa’s top TV dramas including the multi-award-winning series Tinsel. Born in Nigeria, Uju grew up in the UK and has lived and worked in London, New York, and Lagos. She is based in north London with her husband Abiye and their teenage sons.

Uju took some time from her incredibly busy schedule to tell us about her blog, London life, and her book.

Can you tell us what Babes About Town is and what led you to create it?

Babes About Town is a family lifestyle blog aimed at fun-loving parents raising their kids in London and beyond. I launched the blog in 2010 just as my youngest was about to turn 1. I’d been nursing the idea since having my first baby when I had been wondering what the heck I could do with a newborn. Could I still go to places like restaurants, cinemas, theatres? I really wished there was a website that could give me guidance and inspiration and so Babes About Town became the answer to that wish. My mission was to help fellow mums and dads rediscover the cultural wonders of their city and recapture whatever sense of cool they felt before they had kids.

Blogs often create a strong sense of community and connection. Has this been your experience and what's the best part of writing a blog?

Oh absolutely. The community has been amazing and so vital, especially when you’re a new mum feeling isolated and out of your depth. I’m not going to pretend there isn’t the odd toxic element as with any industry, but I tend to steer clear of all that. The best part of blogging for me has been the friendships I’ve formed with some really cool, creative women. I’ve been blogging for 12 years so we’ve watched each others’ kids grow up. The other best part has been owning my space to tell the stories I want to tell, at my own pace, in my own voice.

Babes About Town has really fantastic curated content, which is rich with advice, tips, recipes, and of course parenting. What inspires you?

London! There are pros and cons to living in a big city with kids of course, but I’m a huge advocate for raising children in London. We have so much culture on our doorstep and I’ve loved immersing my kids in everything from street theatre to street food. As a former journalist, I’ve always championed people working in the creative industries and it’s been my honour to cover London’s family arts scene for all these years. I’m also inspired by my (now teenage) boys who crack me up pretty much daily!

You are an incredibly busy lady - a mother of two boys, author, screenwriter, and blogger. Is there anything else would you like to add to that list? Do you have any new projects lined up?

Well, screenwriting has been officially on pause for the past couple of years while I focused on writing and promoting Bringing Up Race. However, I do have some ideas I’m playing with for both TV series and feature-length projects. I’m doing light consulting on a documentary project, which is fun. I have a children’s picture book in the pipeline and I’m about to start on my next nonfiction book. I always have a number of projects and creative ideas jostling for attention so the challenge is learning to prioritise and not feel like I have to make everything happen at once! Two projects I do want to launch this year are a podcast (been talking about this for ages) and a mentoring programme for aspiring writers.

Uju with her book Bringing Up Race - How to Raise a kind child in a prejudice world

Your book, Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child, published in 2020 is an incredibly important book. It's essentially a call to arms for all parents to have conversations with their children about racial prejudice. What inspired you to write the book?

I had a lot of hesitation around writing a book on race. However, when I started thinking about my experiences as a child growing up Black in Britain, I felt like that girl needed a voice. I wrote this book for her and for any other kids who have felt othered or misplaced, and for parents who want to be part of creating a world where all our children feel safe, seen, and celebrated. I invited other parents of different ethnicities to share their stories too because I wanted to emphasise that we all need to be part of this conversation, no matter our ages/backgrounds/identities.

The book explores ways in which parents can teach their children to challenge everyday racism such as microaggressions. There are plenty of learnings for both adults and children. Why is it important for parents (of any ethnicity) to discuss these topics from a young age?

Children are picking up messages about race from the time they’re born. And unfortunately, even in 2022, most of those messages are negative and heavily weighted against Black people and people of colour. Your role as a parent isn’t to sit back and assume that your child will think differently just because you don’t see yourself as having prejudices. Your role is to be proactive in disrupting society’s messages by first accepting that you grew up bombarded with these messages too, so you also have a lot of unlearning to do.

The earlier you start having these discussions at home, the more you normalise it and it also informs part of your education as an adult (who probably didn’t have these types of discussions with your own parents or at school). Ideally, every parent would be talking to their child about race, diversity, and inclusion before their child starts school because most kids will have their first racist experience in a school setting. However, even if your child is graduating from uni and you’ve never spoken about race before, don’t hesitate to start. I always say it’s never too early or too late.

Most of us aspire to raise kind and open-minded children. What do you see as a fundamental part of this process?

It starts with you. Children don’t always listen to what you say, but they follow what you do. So how are you showing them what it means to be kind or open-minded? Who do you invite into your spaces and what are they learning from the way you embrace difference… or not? It’s important to think of kindness as a practice and to recognise that the kinder we are to ourselves and to our kids, the kinder our kids will be to themselves and others.

Also, you can encourage your child to be a critical thinker by asking open-ended questions about the books they read, the shows they watch, or the situations they find themselves in. The more a child can think beyond the narrow scope of their immediate experience, the more expansive their world becomes. So critical thinking is another great way to develop empathy in your small human. I believe a lot more adults need to get off social media and engage in some critical thinking too. Not to knock social media entirely, but there are far too many people who get all their information off a Tweet or an Instagram square. Go read a book! End rant.

If you’d like to hear more about Babes About Town, head to their website or get in touch through her social channels:

Website: babesabouttown.com

Instagram: @babesabouttown

Twitter:@babesabouttown

Bringing Up Race is available wherever books are sold including Amazon and Bookshop