In conversation with Misli Akdag
Pierre, Misli and Mimi
1. Introduce yourself
My name is Misli Akdag, I have a ten-month-old daughter and I’ve been working in Set Dec in TV & film for 9 years.
2. What is your job title?
Usually, it´s assistant set decorator but have had a few different roles lately, the most recent being action prop buyer.
3. Who looks after the kids when you're working?
My mother (thank god). She went part-time at her job and came to me on Thursdays and Fridays. I know this is rare and I will be forever grateful to my amazing mother! In the future, I plan to send my daughter to the nursery.
4. How long did you take off after having your baby?
I went back to work when my daughter was 5 months old. Honestly, I wasn’t planning on going back for a while longer but an opportunity came up with a nice team, a short commute, a great sharer and the deal
breaker for me was a really interesting project.
5. Would you say you have a good work/life balance?
I don’t think a healthy work/life balance is compatible with working in the film industry. I’d love to be wrong!
6. Are you job sharing or working flexibly? Or would you consider it as an option?
Yes, my last job was a share where I worked Thursday & Friday and my wonderful sharer did Monday - Wednesday. I left at 5pm every day (while the rest of the team usually worked til 6) and I caught up on the rest of my days work at 8pm after the whirlwind of bath time and bedtime. My daughter is now 10 months old, my job is on hold thanks to Covid 19, and I plan to keep job sharing until I am ready to go back to full time.
I definitely feel that I use my time differently since becoming a mother and I am much more interested in getting the job done and going home. Quite often in our industry, there is a lot of ‘hanging around’ to show face when often the actual work has stopped happening. Team members often feel the need to stick around because HODs may still be working, and it’s an unhealthy practise. I’m not interested in doing that anymore.
7. What do you think is the hardest part of being a female working in media/film/tv industry and being a parent?
There are two levels to it. It’s one thing being a woman but another thing being a mother! My experience of being a mother in the industry is limited and my colleagues in my previous job were all so supportive and positive so I don’t have much to say on that. Personally, I found it hardest as a mother at quieter times of the job, in my role, there are sometimes occasions where you have to simply stand by and wait in case something may or may not be needed. Now that there is a small child at home, a human being who I feel a physical pull towards, it is much harder - mentally - to hang around “just in case”.
As a woman, I can think of multitudes... people assuming my boss is a man, people assuming I am an assistant or a runner, colleagues in higher positions switching between flirting and patronising often in the same sentence, having to listen to and go along with “banter” which is offensive and usually lazy. It’s going to work with a helmet and shield on every day (to use a prop metaphor) which is quite frankly exhausting.
8. What are your tips for any other women out there wanting to have kids and keep a career in film?
As I said before I am certainly new to this, however, job sharing has been an absolute joy for me because I found a great partner in crime. I would advise seeking out someone who is like-minded, efficient, and smart. And someone with a similar sense of humour! You have to support each other and it’s a lovely way to quietly get feedback on your own work at a time when you’re walking back into an environment that feels foreign all of a sudden. I am so grateful to have someone trusted I can hand over to and also to listen to me when I’m not sure of something and even to surprise myself and give advice and ideas to; just when I think my “mum brain” has filled up with nappies and sleep schedules!
Ultimately our industry runs on the incredible people and the working relationships we have. I would advise anyone to find a team and a family of people you can surround yourself with and support you, to allow you the space to take the time off and then welcome you back.
9. Any advice for anyone about to return to work after maternity?
I have kind of answered this in the answer above, but I would ultimately say dig deep and find your confidence. It felt very odd for me to be wearing clean clothes and sitting at a computer all of a sudden after months of being on (what feels like) another planet, but after a few hours, it felt like wearing a much loved old jacket! I would also advise someone to try to spend some afternoons or chunks of time out in the world without your baby just to get a feel for it before you go back. Also, for me, knowing that my daughter was with my mum was a huge comfort. I don’t think I would have gone back so soon if she was at nursery.
10. What advice did you wish someone had given you?
I wish someone had told me to get ice packs and a small cool bag for unexpected days on the road with no fridge to store your breast milk! It may sound silly but the logistics are tricky! One day I forgot my (small silent electric) breast pump and had to buy an emergency hand pump from boots and almost sprained my wrist furiously pumping. Also not the easiest thing to do while discussing action props with the stunt co-ordinator...